Life Mastery for 2021
As we close out 2021 and move into a new season of our lives, it’s also important for us to reflect on the importance of how far we’ve come in the last year.
Humans are conditioned to have the “I could have done better” or “finish strong” mentality. While that can help motivate us, it can also diminish our self confidence in every way possible. You see, when we set out to do something new, our brain sets off a radar that we are unsafe, and it must protect us from all the terrible things that “could” or “should” happen.
Once our brain thinks it’s doing a good job at protecting us in a negative way, it just keeps finding ways to sabotage us. Let me ask you, are you sabotaging your success? In what ways over the years have you stood in your own way because of fear?
You might be looking at this thinking, “of course I want to succeed,” that’s because it’s your conscious mind talking. But deep down, what happens if you break through the ceiling and make it to the other side? The side that includes you having what you never dreamed could be possible. The side that you look around with so much gratitude and pride that you never imagined you’d be helping humanity in this way, or that your relationship could be this good.
Some people hold themselves back because they think they aren’t good enough or don’t deserve it, other’s hold themselves back because they don’t want to be more successful than a sibling, and sometimes people hold themselves back because they’re afraid they’ll lose the people around them.
Do these negative subconscious thoughts trump your desire to succeed?
I once coached someone who wasn’t losing weight, she couldn’t stay motivated to eat healthy and kept getting frustrated because she was yo-yo dieting. After a few sessions I asked her, what is the real reason you’re holding yourself back from doing this?
She sat there for about 3 minutes silent and finally said, “I’m afraid what people will say if I get skinny.” One of her biggest fears was rejection. She didn’t want to be judged for losing weight. She also felt like she was going to lose her identity in weight loss because she’d identified at her weight for over half her life. She was fearful of what would happen if she actually followed through.
As you’re setting your New Year’s Resolution and feel like you keep holding yourself back? The best way to reach your goals is to have someone guide you and hold you accountable through the process. Getting out of your own way involves being honest on why it hasn’t worked out in the past and doing it differently. The only way we can change our behaviors is to change our internal thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. Once we can reframe who we are in this human experience we can get start making the changes we want in our lives. Otherwise, it will be an endless yo-yo effect in every area of our life. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Interested in learning more about my 1:1 coaching program to help you reframe your goal setting experience? Reach out to me at shannon@livwellsolutions.net.
Liv Well,
Shannon